Marrying a serial cheater

A lawyer can also help with this. You may be entitled to spousal support and insurance in a settlement. I can tell you this from personal experience — it is MUCH better to captain your own ship. My ex-husband serial cheater was a very well paid professional and he spent everything. I made very little salary, but was careful with my income. This was my biggest question with my now ex-husband. He pushed for us to get married. He seemed smitten.

He could have stayed single we were both on second marriages with grown children — families done but then I finally came to the realization of what you just said in your answer. Thanks for sharing your experience. It was definitely a life-changing event. I do have to say he actually just told me a month ago that I would never have to worry about anything — money or whatever because he would always protect me.

A wife really does give a cheater stability. There is the whole unpaid house staff element. Should add women are taken advantage of for their paychecks too. Ugh, sometimes I think the world divides into users and givers. That alone is reason to call in the therapists or the divorce lawyers. Well said regarding the mindfuck comment! To the point. Husband of 30 years does this along with the financial fuck. My brother in-law has always for as long as I a have known him 22yrs been a lier and cheater.

He will lie when it does not matter. He cheated on his first wife with countless people everyday for the 5 years he was with her before they got married and everyday after. They lasted 6 mo when she found out and left.

He married the woman he was with when the first one left him and he has cheated on her much of their marriage by having inapproperate conversations with old flames in his home town on the phone and most recently he set up a second home with a single mom in a town he was working in away from home. I think he is controling, always wants others to feel sorry for him and bad mouths his wife so people think she is worse. I know there are new studies out with a disorder that discribes him to a T exept for the part about being mistreated.

His parents were the best two people on earth and all his other sibblings turned out fine. He was always a trouble maker and his parents would hold him accountable. He even got kicked out of school for poor behavior. So if he was critised too much it was his fault. He thinks nothing is his fault. So I think blaming parents is a bit much. Maybe there are better parenting methods but how is one supposed to know how to handle an child that is constantly out of control.

He sounds like a sociopath, no joke. At the very least a personality disorder. On Dr. How sad for your in-laws. Once in a while a serial cheater will run into a woman that they think is too good for them. They will then Manipulate, control, and Dominate them. When he meets a woman that constantly challenges him, he will want to keep her all to himself. He will straighten out for a while and yrs or however long it takes for him to marry you.

After that, he becomes obsessed with finding more ways to control you—having kids, not letting you work, putting you in school to keep you busy—and get some on the side.

He would do everything to make me happy while trying to control me at the same time. They are cautious because a divorce is the ultimate failure and they will fight tooth and nail for you—even shape up for a while; however, their true mistress is the game.

He would flat out tell girls he would not commit nor would he ever get married before he met me. He constantly wants me back but I no longer want him and his lies. Domination and control are definitely part of it. Used me as a vessel to continue his legacy by having a son because he was getting into his late thirties and I was in my early twenties. First chic he left me for had a daughter b4 I took him back and we got pregnant. He hid my birth control.

I thought it was cute. The control started after I moved in. Had my own business and lived by myself for 3 yrs previous. He had me quit my business to support his business. Thought it was a family effort and my time would come once he was successful. He discouraged me from going back to school. He put down my interests in gardening and jewellery making since I needed a hobby for relief from being a stay at home mom and business owner. He started to put down my friends, my clothes, my political interests, the way I parented, my ability to educate myself thru research.

He started to view me as threat and wanted to keep me 21 forever. He trampled my independence and viewed his freedom as something that was untouchable. If I had any requests for spending time w family or wanting some alone time he called me selfish. I gave him all the freedom in the world.

He frequently went on vacations without me. He viewed all of what was important to me as an inconvenience. He even made me keep my dog only in the back laundry room next to the recycling and litter box cause he did not want his house ruined even though i cleaned up the cat box and cat pee all over the house from his cats he never took care of.

Thank God he cheated again. I wish I had the courage that you ladies have to leave. Every time I even think of leaving fear of failure stops me in my tracks. Without the support of family and reliable friends I fear not being able to support myself and children once I leave.

Our relationship has never been what people would call healthy. But when you are a single mother of four with little or no help, you tend to bend the rules a little on what you are willing to except or not. Now after 14 years in this relationship 8 of the years married.

He has fathered 6 children outside of our relationship. I just exist in constant contempt and shame. At this point he just outright tells me he is never going to change and he knows I am not going anywhere. So I should get over it. Tiny, I just want to say I understand your fears but you are valuable, you are worthy of having a good life either by yourself with your children or with a good man.

You do not have to put up with that man. My suggestion is to somehow or another find a good counselor who will help you step by step gain the strength to see how beautiful and strong you are and gain your life back. The feeling of accomplishment and the feeling of relief and freedom when you finally leave a toxic relationship is simply amazing. Good luck. Thank you for your advice Angi. I have been thinking about looking for a counselor for a while now.

It may just be what I need to move forward. The feeling of relief and peace you referred to is something that I want badly. And if finances are an objective.. I actually had one counselor offer her services free to me because she wanted to help me so badly. And then make a plan.

Journaling helps, just write out all your fears and your strengths and start building on your strengths while dissolving your fears. And meditation saved my life. I have the utmost faith in you and your ability to create a new wonderful life for you and your children. Cake, cake, cake! Being married and cheating is just about the perfect way to have LOTS of great cake! I just found out that the man I had been seeing actually got married while we were together.

I even went down there a few times to visit him. Little did I know that he moved to DC to be with his new wife who he had been dating for years on and off and doing the long distance thing. I only found out about the wedding because someone anonomously sent me pictures of his wedding day. He even told me all about the trip he took to the Caribbean because his best friend was getting married, only it turned out to be him!

What kind of sick human being would have a relationship with two women and get married and profess to commit to her while cheating on her at the same time with another woman who is completely oblivious???? I am really really trying to understand this sort of mentality but it is completely foreign to me. My head is spinning when I think of all the very well orchestrated lies this man told…. He is completely out of my life now, but I feel so sorry for her. Should I just let go and move on?

Any advice would be much appreciated! That other poor woman did. Your story is so much like mine, I would have asked you his name, but the timing is a few months off. I too was involved with someone for a very long time, and found out that he married someone else in the midst of it.

He also told me he had to move to DC for work, when really he was moving in with the wife, when he was getting married, he told me that he was taking a quick trip to NH to visit his brother, and I spoke to him the whole time he was there, and continued seeing him right after the marraige and on. I randomly found out about the wife, and lost my mind for a while and kept seeing him. Like you the detail and story behind his lies were incredible.

I will never in my life know how he kept everything straight. But my question is, did you tell his wife? And how did it turn out? I am very curious as our stories are SO similar. I have three adult daughters and many granddaughters who were also blind sided by my husbands revelations.

I do know he would have unsafe sex with any whore that he met at bars, and I strongly suspect he infected me with an STD as I developed PID and had to have a total hysterectomy followed by an oophorectomy.

I was a complete internal mess, bleeding, inflamed and the doc put me us both on a strong dose of antibiotics just prior as I also developed my first UTI. His behaviour was abhorrent during one of his affairs with a girl barely older than our oldest daughter, as he had been a few times when we were dating.

Although I had no idea of his cheating ways, as his behaviour was not on, I did threaten him with Divorce, and that worked for a while. He was also a Charmer, and Charmed the socks off of anyone he ever met. I believe the stress my husband put me through over the years brought on my Chronic illnesses.

Still better late than never, now I have control, I have the cards to deal and my husband knows it. He no longer lords it over me.

My husband defrauded me out of my life by taking away my choices and breaking our Marriage Contract. Revenge, Vendetta, Eye for an Eye, call it what you will. Time to bury the Hatchet, and move on with what we have left of our lives. I am so out of energy form deceptions.. There is so much, too much — Thank You for this site… I really need a plan. I am in my late 20s, it is the first time i ever fell in love with this man who was smitten by me.

I fell so hard for him, he believes that he is the center of my world. Few more months after the first incident, he started becoming very distant, irritated when i tell him that I loved him, and basically seemed as if he did not want to spend any time with me, I tried and I regret pulling him back on and gaining back his attention, which never worked, he would spend hours talking to 1 specific woman claiming she is his friend and that he can relate with her on things better than he relates with me.

No surprise, he ended up cheating on me for the second time with another woman. This time, after feeling miserable and emotionally drained, i decided to break up and move on, it hurt, but I decided to do it anyways because I felt humiliated.

Few months later, after he saw pictures of me moving on and being happy and that he is not the center of my life anymore, he begged, cried, apologized, got a tattoo of my name, and asked me back. I was devastated, I blamed myself for getting back with him, the pain was worse. Why do men chase you and try to make you fall for them, and when you do, they lose interest?

This has made it really hard for me to open my heart to this new very nice guy, tat I have known for many years, and who i completely trust. Move on for good! Listen to your gut. If the pain of staying with this person outweighs the joy you have with them, tune into that because it is telling you something important.

Only you know what is right for you. Using a licensed therapist as a sounding board as you work your way towards a decision will be the best move you can make in this situation. Good luck!

Take Course. Marriage Advice. Marriage Quizzes Marriage Quotes Videos. Find a Therapist. Search for therapist. All Rights Reserved. Share on Facebook. Share on Twitter. Share on Pintrest. Share on Whatsapp. In This Article. Share this article on Share on Facebook. I can only think of one boyfriend that did not cheat. So, I think that your story might be more common than you think. Pretty much everyone, male or female, but her. I remember having a boss proposition me in and I was upset. When I told some coworkers about it, I found out I was not the first he propositioned and I also found out there were a ton of office affairs.

I did not take it to HR and just let it go. I think if every guy and gal who had an affair confessed, I think there would be a very high adultery rate in this country. I do think there is hope for your marriage and right now your husband needs to be there for YOU. He needs to make up for the past by getting you through this health concern. I read a study on the Dr. Mercola website that demonstrated that people who have over 10,iu of vitamin D3 per day have a dramatically decreased risk of all cancers.

This is something you can do now. The other thing that decreased risk is minutes of cardio per week as well as daily juicing. Try lots of fresh zucchini if you can stomach it. It also decreases cancers and fights them off.

I lightly steam it in water with sea salt and virgin olive oil. Very tasty. Keeping your health in check is the most important thing. I will pray for you. I would love to hear how you have progressed since May. I want the pivotal perspective to focus on me to make me happy versus worrying where he is and what he is doing.

I am so sorry for you. We have all been in your exact place. Devastation is the only word I can use to describe it. That may make a difference in how you approach this. Other than having to be present for me teen kids at the time, I was devastated. He was walking out the door on us when I hsd DDay 1.

He was divorcing me at DDay 2 but yet we are still married and togeyher and pretty happy. Our marriage has changed for the better in many ways. But everyday for almost a year I felt I had to scrape myself off the floor just to get through the day. I think there was a lot of good information here on this blog and I have to tell you that having others that I could share my experience with, who totally get it, made my life easier and provided me with some excellent advice.

I hope you can go back and read some of the posts because they contain some very helpful information. Just so that you know there are some typical behaviors that the cheating spouse takes on that seem to be fairly standard.

In my case my husband continue to lie about all the facts and details surrounding the affair. That seems pretty common. That is also pretty common. You may ask questions and not get an answer at all.

The gaslighting, stonewalling and lying all go hand-in-hand. I wish you the best and hope that you can take some time right now to just breathe and not make any big decisions. And he can send you all the passwords to his social media accounts and everything. She could be at the same hotel. They can have a secret online password account. They can have telephones that are disposable. They can keep electronics in their desk at work. They can use social media apps to talk to each other on the phone even around the country ….

Lenor—You are correct. And Yes no one wants to be the warden and acting so is an effort in futility. You never send the email. Your communication lives in the draft folder. Your AP has the password and can see what you have written and can write a response and simply save the draft.

It has been many things gradually over the past year. And what seemed hard at first has become regular habit. And at the bottom of this I can see looking back where he avoided anything to do with me because again it made him feel worse about himself so he detached. Basically everything needed to change or adjust related to my husbands beahavior. Before making plans to go out checking with me, when going out telling me where, when and who he is with.

If they go somewhere else or things change contact me. When he is out updates are given. Not staying out past 10 unless planned due to it being an event. Drinking less. Setting boundaries with parents and friends. When going out acting as if I am next to him. If there is any contact by any ow I am to be notified immediately. And I am sure there are more. When he goes out he texts me all night. He gets home and says it was not fun like it used to be since then it was an escape and now he wants to be with me.

It is sometimes surreal how much things have changed. It is all good but sometimes I am skeptical and guarded. It is hard to think am I letting my guard down too much. In the end I have granted a second chance. I will not know if it is the best decision or worse decision until it is too late. But I keep at it since I do not give up.

It can be hard some days but I can see where he has transformed himself. But in the end the hardest thing is thinking he was capable of al those horrible things he did.

Saying that his explanation is he was in a bad place personally that he allowed his boundaries to shift and that he learned for it. He says this is his biggest wake up call and he will do everything he can to make sure that me giving him that second chance is worth it.

He says he is here for me more than ever and he looks forward to our time together and sharing the rest of our lives. All good but I still get skeptical. I am skeptical because I do not EVER want to give him the power to hurt me or deceive me as he had done in the past.

I am accepting what type of man he was one hundred percent. He was brought in a family where cheating was the norm: his mother, his uncle who was a preacher, his siblings, his cousins and his friends.

He was brought up in a family where cheating was the norm: his mother, his uncle who was a preacher, his siblings, his cousins and his friends. I understand nature vs nurture but even if every male role model in his life cheats he knows it is wrong and he made the bad choice.

He denied it the entire time. His second and third affsirs with same OW was mid life crisis. He now regrets all of it. The lack of communication over last 20 years.

No accountability on time coming home, walking in the door at 3 am when he said he would be home by 11 pm. All of it. Deep regrets and remorse. I agree I will never be victimized by him again. I have my plan B in place. I went to therapy and got my act together to be a better parent and person. I am still happy in my life with or without him.

I would be saddened if we divorced but not devastated or surprised. I second that… living well is the best revenge. Living well IS the best…for me. He did go to therapy. We had therapy separately and then ended with therapy together. I am totally looking out for my interest. Again, please pray for me. Not telling me young female coworker was on a business trip with him. Not the OW but still should have been discussed. PS- I am going to say straight up that if I found out my husband had affairs I would tell him that he should have told me we had an open marriage— that way I could have found my own cake and eaten it too.

Now would I actually have found my cake? The purpose of such a statement would have been to simply shake him up and make him realize what it would have been like if I had slept with other men. Okay my new favorite line is yours about the open marriage!!! I am going to use that some day.

This post is one of the best that I have ever read! And I have read a lot!!! The reverse Prince Charming fits my ex to a tee!! So amazing to read this now. Thank you Doug and Linda for posting this. She tried to use that information to hurt me. This is my story after 32 years of marriage. I am still trying to figure out what ultimately I want to do, stay or go, but I am leaning on leaving and finding peace for myself instead of investing more into someone who has thought betraying me over and over was an option.

I am angry that this is my state this late in life, but I have to deal with the situation that has been handed to me because it cannot be undone. As we go through life many bad events befall us. When my husband died suddenly from cancer at 51 years old, I became very spiritual. Now I just tell myself whenever dealing with something terrible, like my own cancer now, we are always where we are supposed to be.

It is so normal I think it was created along with man and woman in the Garden of Eden. Life is so painful and unfair at times-but that is the normalcy of life pretty much for everyone.

I am with you on your comment too. Who the heck did I marry, and sometimes wonder and why am I still with him. I believe I am married to the princes joker. He insists we need help he has refused to get help his only help was a simple counselor he lied manipulated and conned her. That was 4 years ago he admits he did that the wrong way hiding denying and lying about himself and his lifetime problems note I did NOT say issues they are his whole life he wanted this minute fixed in counselling never what led him to needing to fix all of his minutes.

I have let him know he has until our 8th grandchild is born to get himself some serious mental health or my time in his life is over and I will go on with my life without him. I have decided to become a trained doula I have been a doula with 4 of our grandpa Iris births since I have had 8 babies I can say my experiences could have used some extra help.

If your husband really is a sociopath and narcissist, then it is time to get out. If you do move on, take the time to travel the world, rediscover yourself, and truly live it up. We took my grandma to the UK for a summer vacation when she was She had a wonderful time. Women need not think that life ends after a divorce, even if women are retired.

As long as there is a source of income, then life is good. For everyone under 80, life is not a complete wash if your husband has made mistakes. You women have lived your lives with integrity and that is the only part that counts.

Your life and marriage is not a waste if you did the right thing. That is a life well lived. Never forget it! You know I always enjoy your posts. However, I have found nothing about my husband Princely or Charming!!!

One 30 years ago and this last one. One was very short term and one was a one night stand, then this last long term affair that lasted almost 4 years where he hired her into his business. LOL actually the first affair partner was hired into his business as well as she was divorcing her husband who was also having an affair.

She worked for him for many many years long after the affair ended. I guess he felt he really needed to clear his conscience when he told me about the latest Affair. I think rather that he is your everyday opportunist who thinks he is smart enough to believe that he can lie and cover up and I am none the wiser.

I knew nothing until HE admitted it to me and actually left me for her. LOL she was cheating on him when he was cheating on me!!!!! And yes I think for him it was most definitely about the sex.

He had NO vested emotional connection with her at all. He was scared to death she would rat him out to me and I would leave so it was easier to carry on and hope she would tire of it and leave.

She posed no threat as she never asked him to leave me and be with her. The mask always slips. And he really was the happy little cake eating frog in the pot until of course the pot started boiling….

So we will see BUT I have done just as you have said. I have totally accepted who he is and who he is NOT. I speak up and make demands. Something I never did in the past. We have a lot of fun together, but I no longer put him or his needs first. He def had it made. I see what you mean about opportunist and you are right about a third category. Some guys are probably in the middle but they might fall into one category or another given time.

Honestly, I think wives can stay with reverse prince charmings if the guy changes. As for the reverse prince charming who wants to stay and still refuses to have insight, a woman can stay with him too, if she wishes. And if a guy is truly a sly dog, a woman can stay as long as she keeps that sly dog on a leash.

So, women can stay with either guy as long as they radically accept the situation and also set boundaries. If a guy acts like a dog, put him on a short leash. For example, neither of us have close friends of the opposite sex. Neither of us go on business trips and we always tae vacations together. I used to NOT be like this and thought it was really restrictive to have these rules.

But after my ex-fiance did what he did, it changed me forever. I basically have boundaries in place that both of us follow. These boundaries proactively head off affairs. There could still be opportunity to cheat, but it is diminished. A long time ago, I had a French boyfriend for about 3 years. His parents physically worked in the same place, they had no friends, and they always did everything together. My boyfriend wanted that kind of marriage and I said it was crazy. But, then he said that the reason his parents live this way is because even if there is a temptation to cheat, there would be no opportunity.

They never had any infidelity and started out their marriage this way. I thought at the time it was the kookiest and most controlling thing I had ever heard. So, my husband and I have a marriage with pretty tight boundaries.

But on the other hand, if he and I lived a traditional religious marriage by the book the boundaries would be even more strict than even those of the French married couple. If we look at America as a whole as compared to the rest of the world, we really do have very permissive marriages in this culture.

So, I totally think it would be fine if you introduced more boundaries to your marriage in addition to accepting him and taking care of yourself. If someone shows you who they are believe them and ensure that there is little opportunity for that person to act out their darker side. The worst combo is when a man is super-attractive, in a high-paying profession, has many women offering themselves up, and then has the time and lack of boundaries in marriage.

As wives, we cannot change the fact that our husbands could be incredibly attractive to other women, but we can change the actual physical opportunities that a husband has to stray. She knows the guy is taken, she knows it is supposed to be a professional relationship, and yet carries on. I guess there are too many people in this world who just do not care how deeply they harm others.

And that is the most troubling part. Some cheaters create the opportunity such as hiring the AP to work for them. And look at the aftermath. It is ugly. And destroys families. For what? As far as keeping my H in a leash, I put boundaries in place. They were there all along but he would not adhere to them.

Lesson learned — if your H cannot abide by a request like call if you are late, then a red flag should be raised immediately. Putting in boundaries bothered me more than him. I felt like a prison warden. Checking up and tracking him was awful for me. So now I operate that he is doing everything he says. If I find out differently then I will act then and make my decision accordingly.

We were friends as couples with AP 1. They owned their own business. She did the accounting for their business. They were getting divorced and my h offered her a job. All within the first couple years of our marriage and we started have children.

She needed that job she was a divorced mother of 2 and had to stay in town. She was good at what she did but my husband complained constantly about her. Haha even called her an opportunist. AP 2 was when he had to go out of town for training for 2 weeks. I found out about that one when I got suspicious. I went into the office one Saturday and sleuthed through phone bills, lol yes the old fashioned way paper bills and found her number.

My h would have to go out of town once in a while and they would meet up on the east coast. Very short term. I was furious at the time but we worked through it. I forgave way too quickly but I was busy with my young children, my college work, and my job to really have the luxury to go through the proper steps of reconciliation.

He acted remorseful and I was anxious to put it in the past. Big mistake. All went well for 30 years although this I am now guessing at. Who knows there could have been others. Obviously he had a lot of spare time to himself. But I truly believed he had learned his lesson. Besides he seemed content. Our sex life was good and we had a wonderful circle of friends and activities. I chalked the affair up, or at least the one I knew about, to youthful indiscretion on his part.

An early mid life crisis. Now 30 years later he starts talking to this woman AP 3 who worked for one of our vendors in town. Starts showing lots of attention. Calling him at work and sending suggestive emails. Within a couple months they are meeting at hotels. So he caves in and hires her. She makes no demands for him to leave until she divorces her husband.

This is when the pot that Mr Frog is in starts to boil. Because above the affair she needed her job so why would she fuck that up??? So she kept fucking the boss and her boyfriend sometimes in the same day!!

Ha, ask me how I know…. Plus he was throwing lots of cash her way just to shut her up. It was fucking extortion. But she is a broke loser and she has finally found her sugar daddy. So low on the rung of the social ladder she does care what she has to do to get the cash. So by DDay 1 that frogs pot was in a full boil. So he did the only thing he thought he could do. The deception was so deep and convoluted. He was scared she would tell me so basically he had to jump out of the pot.

Original right? I asked if he was having an affair with X and he said yes and that he thought he loved her. Ugh so stupid. Lol now that scared him for real. I laughed my ass off on that one. By the way boyfriend also called me. Lovely right??? So yes when AP 3 came into the picture I think he thought he could control this dummy just like he did AP 1 and the affair could end when he was through with the excitement and his little life would go on as usual.

I actually think my H is somewhat a covert narcissist. I said yes. I come home at 5 but him not until 6 or He calls me on his way home from work. Kinda weird since we are together all day. But he does his thing and I do mine. We are reconfiguring our office and now he wants me to move in his office with him. We do pretty much everything together. Besides I have a bum shoulder.

I have access to everything, his phone, his email, his computer, everything. I am well ensconced in the business now. I am a corporate officer and have acces to all the money. I cut and sign all the checks.

Matter of fact last week a very young attractive woman came in with her resume and I walked in to find him and another manager interviewing her on the spot. I blew at both of them. This is not protocol. I go over all resumes first and interviews. He would have never done that if a man had walked in! Others may perceive him as the nice guy all innocent and charming and soft spoken.

I KNOW the real guy. Covert narcs are like that. I have no problem asserting myself in our business or relationship. I no longer look at him through the lens of my own values and sense of integrity. He is what he is and I watch his stinger very closely. Trying Hard. You write an eerily similar story. AP 1 pretended to be my friend even though she was orchestrating to replace me. AP 2 was hired by my CH to work gor him. He made it all happen with her. He told me hired her an an outside contractor BUT it quickly developed into flirting and affair and an almost divorce.

I also suspect there were others in between this almost 20 year span. Hmmmm why not? What did you say to her? I wish I had thought about Sarah P. I certainly would have used it. And the more I read the more I believe there is a set pattern of cheating behavior and lies that all cheaters tell themselves to justify it. They act like spoiled brats if you want my opinion and I refuse to be his mother. I would rather be divorced.

I know lie I have said before the male evolutionary biologists like to say it is wired. Because sperm degrades rapidly after the age of 30 and the interestingly egg does not degrade.

When sperm is degraded, we see things like increased autism, increased incidence of schizophrenia, and other health problems. Then, there is the greatly increased divorce rate with age gap pairings. My husband and I were born in the same year but some have thought I was a lot younger than him. My husband gets to benefit from it now, but I often wonder what will happen when I no longer have a baby face. I often wonder if he will be able to adjust his beauty standard accordingly.

If not, we are going to be in BIG trouble. After all, my husband is one of those who can have his pick, even from much younger women. So, I figured I was an equal to him. It sure shuts people up though when I say that.

I believe that some of the best men can fall prey to it. Then he said that men who he believed to be more sexually driven than women live with the fear of scarcity all of the time and wonder where their next encounter will come from. He said that men cannot approach women and ask for no-strings-attached sex. And he is right about that. Some women would haul off and slap a man if he did that.

Others would just call him a creeper and be outraged. Either way, most men, unless they are Brad Pitt or something, could ever get away with it. When they cheat, they act on their own needs and have tunnel vision. Affairs are the ultimate type of un-thinking. PS- Sorry for the typo, the sentence in the beginning should read: like I have said before the male evolutionary biologists like to say it is wired…. Hey TryingHard, I am glad that you blew up at him when doing an impromptu interview with a young, attractive girl.

I am going to say straight up that I would not hire pretty, young things to work in such an environment. Men are men and men like young, pretty women. That is unfortunately a fact of life and I refuse to play with fire. I know that some would say that is employment discrimination and it is employment discrimination. But, I would want very experienced people with prior senior positions working with us.

And we would need those folks. I am happy to see that attitudes are turning around for middle-aged workers. Some like me flourished in management roles while others did not have the maturity. Even then, when I was hiring, I would go through resumes looking for people with a lot of experience because I knew I did NOT know everything and needed to learn. It just makes sense for a good business. Companies are finally figuring out they are good for the bottom line.

Again Sarah another great post. I am married to Reverse Prince Charming, and yes I should use that line about an open marriage. Love it! I have a general question. I think all of us women, no matter age or beauty have been hit on by men.

Even when it is obvious you are married. Even if the person knows your spouse sometimes it is obvious in that they come right out and say it to see if you are interested also and sometimes you just get a vibe.