Serial dating predators list

In fact, this bis his most reliable trait—his ability to always blame others for his bad behavior. Yes, ladies, this guy can appear to be really exciting. But, his adrenaline seeking behavior usually extends to his love life and he finds the challenge of conquering new women intoxicating.

Early role modeling involving infidelity: This guy has wounds from his childhood and he has witnessed one or both parents cheating over and over again. He did not have positive role models and he does not know how to do things differently.

When trouble strikes his marriage in the form of boredom, fighting, mid-life crisis , he will likely begin an affair. After he starts having affairs, it is easier for him to continue than to find other ways to handle marital frustration. Low tolerance for deferring gratification: This guy has to have everything now and he cannot see how current actions effect future outcomes.

He might have mountains of credit card debt and his house might be littered with doo-dads he does not need. If this type of personality enters into an affair and loves the feeling, it is highly unlikely he will go back to faithful behavior.

Extreme insecurity: This fellow needs constant reassurance and he is always looking for sources of reassurance. If he has decided to use other women as a source of reassurance and specifically if he feels reassured by the affairs that he has, he will have a difficult time letting that source go. This is a list of personality traits that might pre-dispose someone to an affair.

However, these traits can be present and a man may not have an affair at all. Or, if he does, he may not continue.

These traits just make him more than likely to have affairs and continue having them. But, in terms of staying or going, I believe that the above knowledge coupled with what your gut tells you to do can help you make the decision. Leaving a marriage, no matter what the circumstance, is very difficult. However, it might provide at least some cold comfort to know the nature of what you are dealing with so that you can leave with a little confidence that you are taking the right steps.

Still, only you know what is right for you to do. So learn as much as can in order to make an informed decision and follow that path that feels most right to you. Oh, no! I have four of these traits, but at a very low level.

I imagine all of us have a least one. A colossal waste of time. I am an introvert, not really concerned with appearances, grew up with many positive marriage role models, dislike talking on the phone or texting, emailing a lot. Interesting to see what people come up with.

I dont hsve really close friends and am mostly interested in whoever is around me at the time. Like when I find an old friend on facebook, I enjoy catching up a bit and seeing their posts, etc.

Is anyone else like that.? Hi Gizfield, yes there are other introverts out there. I catch up with friends rarely, and just pick up where we left off when we do meet. Lynsey, I totally agree. Always trying to be entertaining, engaged, funny, etc.

And I dont mean that in a bad way. Someone who knows who you are and likes who you are. Just found some interesting information in a study done by the University of Guelph. Here are some quotes from an article I found on Science Daily:. This research shows that demographic variables may not influence decision-making as much as previously thought — that personality matters more, especially for men.

All kinds of things predict infidelity. What this study says is that when you put all of those things together, for men, personality characteristics are so strong they bounce everything else out of the model. Their study also found that men and women cheat in about equal numbers. Finally, they ended with the same caveat I had— that there are so many complex factors that could occur to add to infidelity that are outside of the scope of these characteristics or studies about characteristics.

Also, my two cents on your own traits that correlate with the list. Like you said, it is possible that all of us have at least one. I believe that a person could have almost all of the traits on the list and still not end up cheating.

So, if someone has almost one of these traits, but at a very low level, and if he makes a very conscious effort NOT to allow these traits to rule his life or take over his better judgement, then he might not cheat. On the other hand, if there is another person who has no boundaries in his or her behavior and then has most of these traits and then allows these traits to take over his personality, then he is going to be highly likely to cheat. I would not have guessed that and have not found it in prior literature.

I saw the other day that Craigslist love affair said sex with her affair partner was terrible. Same here. I only slept with my affair partner once during our affair, but our sexual history was long and pathetic. He was my high school bf, we sleep slept together when I was 16, off and on til about I had very little outside experience, but always suspected he was not very good in bed, and I was right. My first husband was excellent sexually, yet I cheated on him with mr.

Sexual Dud. I guess these guys cheat to prove they can, especially since they are sorry lovers a lot of the time. By the way, and earlier comment you made struck a chord with me and a light-bulb went on in my head. You mentioned in your comment earlier that when your H cheated on you, you felt like you had to be engaging, funny, and entertaining and act like someone you were not.

A lightbulb went on in my head because I was able to put into perspective something my ex-fiance did when he was cheating on me. Of course, at the time I did not know he was cheating on me— in fact, I had to hear it from a third party 6 weeks after he broke up with me and I had moved out. Anyhow, during the time he was cheating on me, I remember that he would make random comments about how I was not the life of the party and how that was a bad thing.

He would mock my introversion and then give examples of extroverted women he admired. When you said you felt like you had to be someone that you were not when your H cheated, I remembered how my fiance was trying to get me to be a more boisterous and socially aggressive person. I have observed that when men have affairs, they start to find flaws in the partners personalities to feel better. Prior to getting married to my husband, I let him know point blank that the person he was getting is not someone he can train to be a certain way as if I were a pet.

Now, my husband did not make me feel that way— it was my ex fiance who did. And I told him I felt the same way about him. I accepted who he was, good parts and annoying parts. That is the only way to be since trying to fix someone ultimately ends in frustration and bitterness. PS- I would be curious to see what Doug and Linda have to say about traits that make a person less likely to cheat. PPS- Hey Gizfield, introversion is great and introverts play a wonderful role in society!

Sounds like a lot of what you are describing about yourself is standard introversion, which is a very valuable characteristic. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over working in teams. It is to introverts—Rosa Parks, Chopin, Dr. Seuss, Steve Wozniak—that we owe many of the great contributions to society.

In Quiet, Susan Cain argues that we dramatically undervalue introverts and shows how much we lose in doing so. The rarest of personalities. Oh lucky me! Meant with all sarcasm. I like hanging out with myself a lot too. I also keep A LOT close to my chest. I like people but I need my space.

Nor do I need them to know everything about me. I will say I have highly correct intuition about people and situations which has never proven me wrong. So you have a fellow introvert here on EAJ as well as a southerner.

I wish HR honchos had to read it. In the world we now live in I believe introversion is looked at as being a little peculiar. Oh well. Hah- I have found that HR honchos rarely read or consider anything that is truly useful. Or at least that was the case in the information technology industry. Complete opposite of myself… Well, that was the guy who ended up cheating and then I left for good. Definitely for the best.

I see that introverts are beginning to be valued more and for MANY good reasons. In the past we were definitely labeled as peculiar, eccentric, strange, non-social, etc etc. Now books like Quiet are coming out and I have noticed that companies are starting to specifically look for qualities that are most commonly found in introverts.

Only no one will know it! I have much the same personality traits as Giz and was a CS. One was my childhood sweetheart. Although he did open the gates to my longer, more significant AP. Its still cheating, of course but marriage makes all the difference to me.

Good job. I made myself nuts during the aftermath trying to answer the whys, not to mention making my H nuts withe the same. What it boils down to is opportunity, lack of personal moral code, and a great talent for lies, manipulation and entitlement. Trust in your spouse may be important but that paradigm is forever altered and is unreal. More important is to trust ourselves and be aware. For example, no opposite-sex friendships for your husband.

Especially no opposite-sex friendships with co-workers. People can go into the friendship with the best of intentions, there can be no attraction at first , but then as the friendship progresses, things can quickly get out of control if given the right circumstances.. I have this rule in my own marriage, for both of us.

Some of them are truly relentless and have no shame and do not even try to hide their intentions. In fact, in the past few months, I am still having to put up boundaries with one of his female co-workers because she will not give up.

And you might say its up to my husband to put up boundaries— well he does and I have even been present at his work when he does. So, after he started putting up boundaries, she started emailing me and begging for us to come to her house to dinner. Each time she says that, I suggest a one-to-one coffee for just us girls and suggest a time. And each time I do that, she never answers me back but then starts in on my husband again. Then he sets a boundary and she emails me again…and on and on.

I will never understand this, for many reasons, but knowing it exists, I am pro-active. Do any of you ladies have any advice on what I can do to up the ante with this female co-worker who will not go away? It would appear that she is a full-blown narcissist, by the way. Well, if any of you have advice on what me or my husband could do to get her to go away, let me know. I am at a loss. Well since I work with him in the same office at our business there is no room for any kind of office romance—except with me of course!!

Yep he was stupid enough to invite the camel into the tent. He was way to friendly and was just lapping up all the attention with their seeking him out for his business acumen. We had a huge heated discussion and I very firmly pointed out how his demeanor sends the wrong message to females. I heard the conversation and I knew it was flattering bullshit coming from the other end of the line.

I heard his fake laugh and I swear my hair caught fire. I actually had to leave the office for a while but not before shooting the evil eye to him. He knew exactly what I was mad about and what he had done. But I think this charming behavior has been going on for a long time with female vendors or customers. This is the first time in a very long time we have worked together where he has actually given me the authority I had previously demanded. I hate to say it, but with my H I have to be very firm with no chance of ambiguity on my part.

We discussed this with the MC and she agreed. Sure he likes being perceived as Mr. Nice Guy but more so he likes the attention and flattery from the OW. LOL I hired a woman who tried a little too hard to impress my H. She turned on the charm with him, complimenting him on his clothes, making up meetings she had to have with him about FILING??? Yeah well she was fired after oh about 6 months.

Loved doing it. She cried on her way out! So yeah my intuition is on overdrive. Never going to mistrust my own gut over trusting someone else. I think everyone here has given you great advice Sarah. I will say your H needs to totally ignore her. No unnecessary contact and that includes you too, although I subscribe to keep you friends close, keep your enemies closer.

They only thing I would add is, take the bitch back to the parking lot and beat the crap out of her!!! So, my husband is charming like that, but with everyone, even if they are year-old men who are wheelchair bound.

But, it is sincere on his part. He has a lot of natural compassion for people, no matter who they are. We had to have a talk early on about how women can perceive his niceness. He has reeled it in a lot over the years in terms of being more cautious around women.

But, he is still a naturally likable guy and many women misread it. I do not know how you held out 6 months. I think I would have been very upset from the get-go as soon as I saw that happening. You held yourself very well. These women are a standard archetype in the daytime soap operas, but one just does not expect to see such obvious examples in real life.

I would have been livid. By the way, my best friend of thirty years said the same thing about taking the B out to the parking lot to settle it once and for all. I have always told my h, watch how he talks to women, because they can take it as if he is interested in them.

He never really believed it, I guess until now. I believe he is now more open to not trusting anyone anymore. He knows that most are only after what they can. Have to weigh in on this string bc I have the exact same problem. The other ones he keeps for himself. Curious to see any other comments people post about a solution. Your husband should go to hr and find out what rules of engagement exist in his workplace.

At least there would be a record in her file. This may be a pattern of hers. He should beat her to the chase. Hi Jeddy, Good point— now I need to convince my husband to stop being a people pleaser and fearing offending everyone. Knowing him, he would be afraid to go to HR because he did not want to cause a fuss and would be too embarrassed. I have thought long and hard about if he may have engaged in some kind of affair with her EA or SA or both.

I have thought about how he might have gone about it if he had wanted to, and I am coming up blank. He works one solid shift and leaves at the same time in the morning and comes home at the same time of day. If I call him o text him at work, he answers. He works in an environment where everyone works in a large room that is full of computers and everyone is always around the other. There is really no room for getting to know someone one-on-one.

No business lunches since there is no lunch break. He does not travel without me and never has. This lady who is chasing him has lived with a guy for 10 years and the guy will not marry her. On the other hand, stranger things have happened and i realize that. I have been on high alert for signs but have found none. Still, I would like for this lady to chill out and back off.

But still it is unnerving!! I spent a year being told the problems in our marriage were due to me, so I tried to fix me. I was humiliated at family functions she attended. I was not able to make decisions about my life or marriage since I was kept in the dark about the third person in the relationship. I would have grabbed that damn phone locked myself in the bathroom and read everything whether he called me crazy or not, and then I would have given him 5 min to leave.

He told the ow about those too. I had to bawl my eyes out at the gyno explaining why I needed std testing — no good reason to believe this was ea not pa. Every cheater thinks they are the one who can have an affair with no repercussion or fallout or collateral damage. Boy what I would do to turn back the clock and call him on the carpet the first day my spidey senses tingled, which was over a year ago.

But since he was too chicken to man up and put his family first and deal with his mess as soon as he knew it was a mess, here I am. Knowing that my emotional safety, sense of security and general well-being were put last without my knowledge has altered me.

It also kept me from being the best mother I could be for my kids. She would whimper to men flirting about how having a husband and four boys was too much men. This was not her first rodeo. Women and men need to be called out when they behave unprofessionally.

They survive and thrive when no one shuts the behavior down. My kids will be taught what an older female colleague told me: When a man at work complains about his marriage, tell him he should be having this conversation with his wife, then walk away. The garden you tend will be the one that grows. The other things learned thru this is that these are not strong women and men.

They are the weak injured idiots at the back of the pack, waiting to be be taken down. Strong, confident folks? Front of the pack leading lives with integrity, not anywhere near those maimed creatures. I would rather have been labeled bat shit crazy a year ago than experiencing my life now. I tip toed for a long time — who wants to be the accusing untrusting wife? Wow, Jeddy, Yes, I am glad that I asked because your answer provides insight on many levels.

I am also truly sorry that you are having to live through such pain. I just pray that you have some support when you arrive in your new town. This is just too much to deal with alone. But, I am glad you are standing up for yourself by removing yourself from the situation. Once you are gone, he your h is going to feel like he was hit by a ton of bricks and then run over by several monster trucks. He is going to find out what it means to try to rely on someone who is only a mirage— a temporary mingling of smoke and mirrors.

I am angered that your in-laws treat you badly and that the OW is even seen at family functions. That is so wrong on many levels. I am also angered that your body literally had to get that sick and he still would not come clean when he saw you vomiting your guts out.

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Recommended Stories. Atlanta Black Star. An how can you tell if a man is lying.? His lips are moving. The second piece of advice is to know thine strategy. Serial dating predators are social psychopaths: calm, calculating and patient. They are willing to put in a lot of groundwork in the hope that it will come to fruition in time. They never ever just get lucky, not in his eyes. The way they see it, every victory - no matter how small - is due to the pull of there sexual gravity.

Remember, they are narcissist. But its no use going forth fresh with your research and new set of mindskills if you dont know how to spot one of these toxic bachelors. No two dating predators are the same but they do have there stereotypical habits. Here are some of the creatures you may encounter. Its not pretty: dont say you weren't warned He'd like to believe he's the Alpha male of your dreams, but insecurities, such as a small dick, hold him back Habitat : Most likely to be seen in trendy bars and clubs.

Keep an eye out for excess enthusiasm when he greets the doorman and bar staff - anything to give him the edge. Modus Operandi : Happy to put in the long term groundwork with as many different women as possible for more options.

Will wait for an opportunity before pouncing. Known to stalk. Weaknesses : Few. Husbands and boyfriends are irrelevant to the Patent Predator. Its all part of the challenge. Deals with rejection hard. Hunts : Sometimes in tamdan with another pseudo-Alpha Male but will hunt alone once his prey is cornered. Favourite Conversation : Its all about you baby. This guy is so emotionally intune with your needs. Props : Doesn't need them.

He's looking for your heart - so he can break it. Drink Of Choice : Are you serious? This guy's so serious he'll only drink what your drinking.

As in: "Let me get you a drink. What are you having? No way! That's my drink. This is uncanny! Contemporary books portray it like a contest, which is absurd'. Watch their social media pages or profile. Send them this article or a similar article. Talk to them about how women these days should be more feminine and traditional. Then watch how he reacts. If his social media, profile, and conversations are all about how women should change themselves, women should do this, women should do that, he wants a woman with little to no sexual experience and there is hardly any info or talk about him improving himself to be an honourable, virtuous, traditional and masculine man, then you know that you are dealing with a misogynistic, abusive, predatory man who hates women at his core.

A truly virtuous and well-adjusted man will focus more on improving himself than whining and bitching about the evils and wrongs of women. Predators put on false masks and facades to lure their prey in, so this man who presents as charming, virtuous, and humble just might be a predatory, abusive sociopath. If his exes were women of loose morals, immodest and pretty much nothing like you, he targeted you as prey.

If you get involved with him, not only will he abuse you horribly, but he will cheat on you with…. You do not have to wait for concrete visible proof that this person is abusive, predatory or dangerous.

If you are feeling that something is off about him or about the relationship, it is usually because it is. If you notice a good number of the above Red Flags within the first three months of knowing a person, quietly exit the relationship,.

Do not tell them that you know what they are, as these people can turn dangerous, stalkerish, obsessive and vengeful. These people are not mentally ill.

They have a personality disorder, which means that there is no medication that can help them and therapy makes them worse. They also get worse with time and with age.

This is why you would see a seemingly quiet family man flip out one day and kill his entire family, leaving everyone shocked because they thought he was a nice Christian. Some people in prominent fields even suggest that these predators narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths , due to their abusive nature and complete lack of empathy, may not be human or may be possessed by a demonic force.

Trust and wait on the Lord and He will bring your Joseph to you, a strong, virtuous, traditional, honourable, masculine, and holy man. A person with no empathy is a VERY DANGEROUS individual because there is no limit to what they can and will do, and a lot of them will fly under the radar — being openly nice and charming to outsiders, but cruel, abusive and destructive to their partners, children and family.

There is no limit to what they are capable of doing and this can even extend to murder. Not everyone sent to you is of God. The devil sends people to you too. So, stay safe and heed the warnings that God is giving you via your gut instincts and these red flags. Skip to content There seems to be a current epidemic of ungodly men posing as Catholics and targeting virtuous young Catholic women.

A vast majority of these predatory men tend to be Catholic reverts or converts. The point of this article is not to malign all men or the virtuous Catholic men. To use an analogy, electricity looks pretty and sparkly, but is also lethal. If you feel someone is dishonest, why contact them or exchange numbers?

Be extremely wary of the charming man. Not all that glitters is gold. Predators put on a false facade that deceives and fools everyone else. Only those close to them know their true character. Once you do that, they know that they have gotten you. The silent treatment should be recognised as the abusive tactic that it is. If his actions and behaviour do not match up with his words, he is a predator. Abusers, sociopaths, and predators tend to leave a trail of destruction in their wake.

You see, as women, we are wired to nurture and care for others. They will tell us how nobody understands them, or they had a horrific childhood, or a horrific past relationship, people simply misunderstand them, they were wrongly accused, they were bullied or picked upon in their younger years, or in the church or in the workplace etc etc For men, a woman will use the pity ploy or play the victim card to arouse your protective instincts.

Do not fall for it! It is a trap!! At the end, nothing you do will ever be good enough to validate them. The love-bombing tactic is utilized to a make you fall for them as quickly as possible b confuse you so when you see later contradictory behavior in them, you explain it away. This is not normal behaviour and it is useless trying to justify or excuse it.

You will miss them afterwards, but this is because your brain was trauma-bonded to them.